EGGSTERMINATE!
by Professor V
Summary: Daft Sonic-Dr Who crossover in the SatAM world. A group from the most fearsome race in the universe lands outside Robotropolis bearing their infamous sink plungers. Cue headaches all round for Robotnik and Snively. A review or two would be nice.


You can't keep a mad writer down. Inbetween yawnsome Higher revision, I bring to ye a work of lunacy to help brighten up your day! And mine!

As well as being a huge Sonic fan, I have also recently become quite attached to the infamous BBC sci-fi show "Dr Who". I've always rather liked the programme, but with the new series being aired here in the UK, it seems to be lulling me into becoming a fully-fledged Whovian. **XD**

Anyhoo, today's fic gives centre stage to some of my all-time favourite villains. Of course, I refer to Robotnik, Snively and the Doctor's most famous foes. If you haven't guessed who they are yet, you'll quickly recognise them here.

And away we go. All characters are property of Sega, DiC, the BBC blahblahblah...

**"EGG-STER-MIN-ATE!"**

**by Professor Reginald Fortesque Vengeance (Esquire)**

It was another strangely quiet day in Robotropolis. It had been well over a week since the last Freedom Fighter raid and so the inhabitants were enjoying a pleasant explosion-free break from their villainous duties. Even the normally thick smoke from the factory chimneys were reduced to mere thin whisps during this period of calm.

All that broke as a large spacecraft landed on a hill just outside the city limits.

With a highly sophisticated "wooshy" sound, a hatchway opened in the side of this majestic vehicle and down the attached ramp came what appeared to be four tall pepperpots; black, red, silver and bronze respectively, a series of little spheres littering their lower halves. Pretruding from their domed heads was a single mechanised eyestalk with camera lens and on top sat two large flashing lights. The creatures also bore two arms - one, a short silver laser cannon; the other, almost identical to a sink plunger.

Add all these elements together and you have one of the most feared and loathed races in the known universe.

The Daleks.

"_ARE YOU SURE THIS IS THE CO-RRECT LO-CA-TION?_"the silver one inquired.

"_POS-I-TIVE_", the red one replied, "_OUR NEW NAV-I-GA-TION GUI-DENCE SYS-TEM IS THE MOST SO-PHIS-TI-CAT-ED IN THE GA-LAX-Y OR OUR MO-NEY BACK_".

"_THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID A-BOUT THE GRA-VIT-Y RE-VER-SER YOU BOUGHT FROM THAT WEA-SEL-Y LIFE-FORM_", pointed out Bronze, "_AND WHAT HA-PPENED? IT BROKE! AN EN-TI-RE DA-LEK FLEET WAS SENT HUR-TL-ING IN-TO SPACE!_"

"_...BUT HE SEEMED SO NICE..._", Red added sheepishly.

"_NICE?_" Bronze screeched, "_NICE? ARE YOU A DA-LEK OR NOT? WE TRUST NO-ONE WHO IS NOT A DA-LEK!_"

"_SI-LENCE!_" the Black leader yelled, "_YOU'RE DO-ING MY OR-GA-NIC SELF'S HEAD IN!_" Red and Bronze calmed down, though their camera eyes were still exchanging piercing looks as the group turned to face the city below them.

"_...I STILL DON'T THINK IT LOOKS RIGHT_", Silver said, "_I THOUGHT TA-TOO-INE WAS A DE-SERT PLA-NET..._"

"_...SAYS YOU..._", Bronze mumbled.

"_OH, JUST GIVE THIS A REST AND LET'S GET THIS OV-ER WITH!_" Black snapped and thus, the four crazed cyborgs began making their way down to Robotropolis.

* * *

_"When I get to the bottom, I go back to the top of the slide_

_Where I stop and I turn and I go for a ride_

_'Til I get to the bottom and I see you again!"_

Paul McCartney's thumping bass rang around the Control Room, Snively bounding around and strumming his air guitar like a man possessed. Nothing livened up a dull security duty shift like sticking on his many LPs and rocking the time away with a good old-fashioned sing-song.

_"Helter skelter! (doodoodoodoodoodoodoo)_

_Helter skelter! (doodoodoodoodoodoodoo)_

_Helter skelter! (doodoodoodoodoodoodoo), yeah!"_

But his gig was rudely interrupted by a series of massive explosions echoing from further away in the complex.

"What the - " The lackey cast his air guitar to one side and quickly shut off his Windows Media Player program. Nearly tripping over himself, he dashed over to the monitors littering one of the walls. Hurridly, he scanned the screens, trying to find the source of the continuous bangs. If it was that miserable hedgehog...

But it wasn't.

Snively finally found the perpetrators on one of the TVs, heading down one of the main corridors. His jaw dropped. It can't be. It couldn't be. They were just made up for some show. They weren't real...yet there they were.

Daleks. Clear as day. Shooting up the hallway.

"SNIVELY!"

The lackey jumped as the massive fuming frame of Ivo Robotnik suddenly appeared in the doorway.

"Snively, what the devil is going on?", he snapped, "I was just putting the finishing touches to my evil card tower of doom, when these acursed explosions blow it down! What's happening?"

"-D-D-D-D-D-D-"

"What are you on about now?", the Doctor hissed.

"-D-D-D-D-D-"

"Spit it out, you little runt!"

"**_DAAAAAALEEEEEEEKS!_**"

Robotnik was nearly thrown right onto his back from the sheer volume of that outburst. "What?" he said groggily, regaining his composure once more.

"D-D-Daleks, s-sir", his nephew quivered, "D-Daleks are invading th-the base."

The Doctor raised a quizzical eyebrow. "And in the name of all that's galvanised is a _Dalek_?" Snively resisted the temptation to groan. An evil genius though he may be, his uncle's knowledge of popular culture was severely lacking.

"They're aliens, sir", he explained, "Genetically-engineered lifeforms encased in robotic bodies and bred to destroy anything unlike themselves."

Robotnik pondered this for a moment. "...hmm...yes...that's quite good...remind me to try that out some time, Snively."

"Yes, sir", he replied with a roll of his eyes, "But what shall we do with them in the meantime?"

"Oh, I don't know..." the Doctor snarled, "How about throwing them a ticker-tape parade?" He then sharply grabbed his nephew by the scruff of the neck. "_Just deploy the SWATbots, you shrivelled little nuisance!_"

"Yes, sir", Snively squeaked and scrambled over to the intercom after his uncle let him flop onto the ground. "All SWATbots in Sector 6 report to Corridor Delta! Shoot to kill! I repeat: shoot to kill!"

All the two Doctors could do now was watch the screen and wait. More holes were being blasted into the walls as the Daleks continued their rampage. Within a mere few seconds, however, the SWATbots began filing into the hallway from either side. At least two dozen had the four strangers surrounded.

"_INTRUDERS DETECTED!_" the leader commanded, "_COMMENCE FIRE!_" and the soldiers began blasting away at the Daleks with their maroon laser beams.

Nothing happened whatsoever.

"What is going _on_?", Robotnik barked, "Why aren't they taking any _damage_?" A horrible thought just popped up in Snively's head.

"Force fields!" he yelped, "They're using individual force fields to disintegrate the laser fire!" He slammed his finger down on the intercom. "It's not working! Concentrate your fire on the heads! Hurry!"

"How do you know all this, anyway, Snively?" Robotnik asked suspiciously.

"...erm...I...um...saw it on a documentary, sir", he fibbed weakly and as he turned back to the screens again, he let out a terrified squeak.

The four Daleks were now mowing the SWATbots down like a swarm of flies 'round a bug zapper. Cries of "_EX-TER-MIN-ATE!_" rung around the corridor as their little blaster cannons caused the humanoid footsoldiers to fall apart in short blue flashes of light with single shots!

After barely a minute, the pepperpots stood victorious, various metallic body parts strewn across the steel floor.

"...um...sir..." Snively directed a snarling Robotnik's attention away from punching one of the computer consoles back to the monitor. The black Dalek had found the camera in the hallway and was now staring directly at the lens to them.

"_WE ARE THE EN-TI-TIES KNOWN AS THE DA-LEKS!_", it proclaimed, "_WE KNOW YOU ARE PRO-TEC-TING THE DOC-TOR WITH-IN THIS CIT-A-DEL! BRING US THE DOC-TOR IM-MED-I-ATE-LY OR YOU WILL ALL BE EX-TER-MIN-AT-ED!_"

And with that, it destroyed the camera with one blast.

"BAH!" Robotnik barked, "If you want something done properly, you've got to do it yourself!" and he grabbed a laser rifle tucked in the corner of the room. "If it's me they want, it's me they're going to _get_!"

"B-but sir, you saw what they just did!", Snively quivered, "Th-they're not to be underestimated!"

"Nonsense!" the stout scientist scoffed, "It's like you said, a few good headshots and they become as useless as you are!" Heroically, he marched towards the door.

"Oh and even if I don't come back, Snively, nothing will really change in my absence", the Doctor smirked, "With Cluck in charge, it'll be like I'd never left you", and he left the room, leaving his nephew to grumble furiously in front of the screens. Suddenly, he caught something on one of the monitors. The lackey's rambling came to an abrupt halt.

The Big Round Guy wasn't going to like this at all.

* * *

"_...I DO NOT SEE HIM A-NY-WHERE!_" Bronze said impatiently, "_LET'S JUST KEEP SMA-SHING UP THE JOINT_! "

"_OH, JUST GIVE IT A MIN-UTE!_" Silver snapped, "_HO-NEST-LY, YOU'RE A-BOUT AS PA-TIENT AS A SON-TA-RAN ON A SU-GAR RUSH!_" Another arguement looked set to take place when:

"Have at you!"

Robotnik leapt around the corner and began firing at random down the corridor. The Daleks simply stared as his random shots blasted into the walls and the ceiling.

"_PI-TI-FUL_", Red tutted and slowly made his way over to the eggish gentleman.

"Stay back, you cads!" he snarled, brandishing the rifle menacingly. But Red simply extended his plunger arm and, with a loud sucking noise, removed the firearm from his hands and carried it off on the end of its unusual appendage back to the others.

"...right..." Robotnik chuckled nervously, "...heh-heh...well...um..."

And he threw himself down onto his knees.

"Oh, please! Please don't hurt me! I have so much to live for! I am not worthy to be in your presence! It's Snively you _really _want, not I! Yes! Take Snively! _He's _the true power around here! He is of _so _much more use to you than I am! Oh please, spare my life! I am of no use to you! Please!"

A moment's pause.

"_...YOU ARE TA-KING THE MI-CKEY!_"

Robotnik finally looked up from kissing Black's bumper. "Excuse me?"

"_YOU ARE NOT THE DOC-TOR!_" he replied in disgust, "_YOU ARE FAR TOO RE-PUL-SIVE TO BE THE DOC-TOR!_"

"_NOT UN-LESS HE RE-GEN-ER-AT-ED AND IT WENT WRONG_", Silver suggested.

"_NO, NO, NO!_", Red reasoned, "_NOT E-VEN A MU-TAT-ED RE-GEN-ER-A-TION COULD MAKE HIM THAT HI-DE-OUS!_"

"Now, see here!" Robotnik barked, his old self starting surface again.

"_FOR-GET IT, EGG PER-SON!_", Bronze said, "_YOU ARE NOT THE ONE WE WANT!_"

"_I TOLD YOU THIS WAS-N'T TA-TOO-INE!_" nagged Silver, "_I SAID IT DID-N'T LOOK RIGHT, BUT NOOOOO!_"

"_OH SHUT UP!_" Black snapped, "_LET'S JUST GET OUT OF HERE AND BACK ON WITH THE MI-SSION!_" and so, the four Daleks began trundling back the way they'd come.

"_SO-RRY FOR THE IN-CON-VIEN-I-ENCE!_" Red called to the Doctor and the extraterrestrial quads rounded the corner and out of sight.

Robotnik stood alone in the hallway, face as red as his uniform. He was the most feared man on Mobius and yet, he'd just turned himself into a doormat in front of fellow villains. At least there was no way he could feel any worse.

"Sir! Sir!"

"This had better be good, Snively", the Doctor mumbled as his nephew came scuttling from the other end of the corridor.

"...um...well, you see, sir...um..."

"...yes?" he inquired sinisterly.

"...well...um...wh-while you were d-down here, sir...th-the Freedom Fighters were glimpsed leaving the city...th-they've d-destroyed the g-g-generator for SWATbot Factory number 9..."

Snively grinned sheepishly up at Robotnik's manic, twitching face. With a roar like a lion in a cactus patch, he began chasing after his lackey, only one word on his furious fat lips:

"EX-TER-MIN-ATE! EX-TER-MIN-ATE!"

**FIN.**


End file.
